4. Internal Conflict

In the fourth section, O'Brien shares his thoughts and feelings when he first received his draft notice. He experiences a mix of feelings as stated on page 43, "I was bitter, sure. But it was so much more than that. The emotions went from outrage to terror to bewilderment to guilt to sorrow and then back again to outrage. I felt a sickness inside me. Real disease." His internal conflict was whether or not he should run away to Canada or actually serve in a war he knew nothing about. O'Brien seems to really want his readers to understand what he went through back then. He seems to really stress the importance of not taking anything for granted. He never expected to be enlisted and it greatly altered his perspective on life. His emotional state was greatly changed as well. He experienced a variety of feelings within a short time frame, leading mainly to an uncertainty as to what would happen. Everything about the war changed who he was as a person and he attempts to relay that point to the reader in section four.